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Forgiving Yourself

10.7.12 Journal Blog post about my experience counseling in the inner city (For more context- please refer to Corporate Girl in an Inner City World)

 

To the torturers

During “Patterns of Change” class I co-lead, I brought up the topic of unforgiveness towards self because we were talking about guilt and shame. Working with the women in this shelter, I have really noticed that there’s a lot of guilt and inability to forgive oneself.

Many of these women have come from difficult domestic abuse or substance abuse situations where they have not been able to give their kids the best. (many had kids in their teen years)

Somewhere in the middle of their addiction and their abusive relationships, most women had kids at a young age and really wasn’t there for their kids (either their parents took care of their babies or they did a poor job raising their kids).

In that shame, in that unforgiveness—as the Bible says—there really is a release to the ‘torturers’ that I believe happens even psychologically! This has to be a priority…to not just forgive others but to forgive themselves too.

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You’re just not good enough

9.25.12 Journal Blog post about my experience counseling in the inner city (For more context- please refer to Corporate Girl in an Inner City World)

 

 

Feeling not “good enough”

I am now co-leading a class at Union Gospel Mission’s women’s shelter called “Patterns of Change” and thought I would share something we discussed that I think everyone senses this at one point of another– whether they know it or not…this sense that deep inside, you’re just not… “good enough.” 

Maybe it’s in your career, maybe it’s in your appearance, maybe it’s with the opposite sex…hey, you don’t have what it takes. You aren’t pretty, handsome, rich, smart or successful enough… You aren’t enough and one day…others will find out. You will be found out…

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Comfortable in Your Own Skin

If we were to really admit it, many of us have spent years uncomfortable in our own skin.

Some have found a level of confidence as accomplishments, education, experience…the external validation…build up with age but the security, the value, the worth as an individual, a truly unique being, is still missing.

Many of us know well how to hide the insecurity behind more accomplishments, more effort, more confidence…but we hide.

We hide behind careers, jobs, muscles, great clothes, accomplishments, the praises of people…but deep inside, are we really free?

 

I could say that I have spent the majority of my life insecure, comparing myself with others and…jealous. I was definitely not comfortable in my own skin. Much of it was body image as a woman but…I was uncomfortable with my race, my personality, my weaknesses, even my strengths.

No matter how extreme or natural insecurity may be in your life, I believe everyone, of all ages, of all walks of life, can come to a better place, to a place where they are truly comfortable in their own skin. To fully embrace who God created you to be.

If insecurity is defined as a sense of self-doubt, vulnerability and not feeling safe, then security means freedom from fear, safety and well-founded assurance and confidence

To enter into a new place of operating in the fullness of your giftings in all your uniqueness, to see yourself as a special original, to begin to reflect the aspect of God that you only uniquely portray to this world…to know your value and your worth…to be truly free to love others in your life and embrace them instead of competing or being jealous… More…