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When you keep doing what you hate

10.7.12 Journal Blog post about my experience counseling in the inner city (For more context- please refer to Corporate Girl in an Inner City World)

 

What do you do when you keep doing what you hate?

Maybe it’s a hard core addiction- drugs, alcohol, porn, smoking, sex, an eating disorder…or maybe it’s a little more subtle like overeating, overspending, pride, an unhealthy on and off dating relatioship, serial dating, finding yourself attracted to the wrong type of person….you name it.

If you’re honest, it’s seriously impacting your job, your daily life, your spirit… your body and relationships…

What is addiction and why is it so hard to break??

More…

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You’re just not good enough

9.25.12 Journal Blog post about my experience counseling in the inner city (For more context- please refer to Corporate Girl in an Inner City World)

 

 

Feeling not “good enough”

I am now co-leading a class at Union Gospel Mission’s women’s shelter called “Patterns of Change” and thought I would share something we discussed that I think everyone senses this at one point of another– whether they know it or not…this sense that deep inside, you’re just not… “good enough.” 

Maybe it’s in your career, maybe it’s in your appearance, maybe it’s with the opposite sex…hey, you don’t have what it takes. You aren’t pretty, handsome, rich, smart or successful enough… You aren’t enough and one day…others will find out. You will be found out…

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The Affairs of the Heart

9.21.12 Journal Blog post about my experience counseling in the inner city (For more context- please refer to Corporate Girl in an Inner City World)

 

 

 

 Addicted to Relationship

Today I learned something new about women. Hm…maybe not something completely new to me but…let’s just say, I gained a different perspective about why some women become addicted to substances, eating disorders, serial dating, and other destructive lifestyles. In the class I attended today called “Addicted to love,” they reviewed their learnings from the book When You Love Too Much. (Great book for those who are struggling with on and off relationships, by the way…)  Many women from all walks of life spoke about their experiences with bad relationships…abusive relationships…relationships with married men. The whole gamut.

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Corporate Girl in an Inner City World

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Again!

It’s been a while…been over a year since I’ve posted anything for Heart Doctor and I know some of you have been missing it! After a year of huge transition, I’m back with a new series of journal style blog posts that summarize my revelations, thoughts, and reflections as I move from Corporate America to the inner city…and begin my practicum internship counseling women at Union Gospel Mission’s women’s shelter called “The Hope Place.”

There, beautiful women of all shapes and sizes, who have been marred by physical abuse, substance dependency, homelessness, sexual abuse, trauma, and loss are slowly restore to life– to dignity and safety…beauty for ashes!

More…

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Toxic Anger: Part 2

If anger is like a fire that causes great damage in the body, in one’s spiritual life and in relationship with others when mishandled then…what does handling anger well look like?

In the first part of this article, “Toxic Anger: Part 1,” I outlined the original design God had for anger, common roots for anger and what happens when anger is mishandled. In this second part of the article, I will review what it looks like to handle anger in a biblical and healthy way that has been particularly useful and life-changing for me.

 

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Toxic Anger: Part 1

Anger. The emotion and sensation of feeling offended, wronged or denied. Desiring retaliation.

We all experience it on some level.

Sometimes people are ruled by it (think: road rage) or work really hard to keep it inside (“I’m not angry! just frustrated…”)…

But like fire, anger has to be handled correctly or it can cause great damage. In fact, I would argue that many physical and stress issues people have today can be linked back to the mismanagement of anger. Unreleased anger and stress can ravage the body.

I would also vouch as I did in the article “Learning How to Feel Again,” that the mishandling of the anger and emotions we experience can be at the root of many addictions.

In this 2 part article, I will outline the original design God had for anger, common roots for anger, what happens when anger is mishandled and one approach on handling anger that has been particularly useful and life-changing for me.

More…

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Man vs. Male

Man, male…same thing, right?

Not according to Pastor Billy Huffman from The City Church.  During a recent retreat, he expounds on the stark difference. (and can’t wait to hear his list for woman vs. female!)

Just because someone is born with the male gender, doesn’t necessarily make him a ‘man.’

Here’s a combination of my notes from his sharing with my thoughts inserted in there. In no way is this a comprehensive list and unfortunately, it’s impossible to capture all his crazy, hilarious stories here but…this was too good not to share.

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Freedom is a Choice

A lot of people think they have to struggle…forever.

A lot of people secretly struggle with a lot of things…eating disorders…porn…sexual addictions…closet drinking…insecurity…lust…the list goes on.

Some addictions seem ‘worse’ than others but the reality is that…it’s all bondage.

And with it, I see two camps of people.

Those who feel like victims, defeated. Accepting the fate that they will be like this forever…

Or those who know there’s a way out. A supernatural way out.

The reality is that there’s a God who specializes in change. In changing you. In changing me.

He loves us way too much to allow us to stay the same, but…it’s a choice.

In this article, I will walk you through an important principle God showed me the past few years that has made all the difference in the world in my own healing and those I have walked with through their healing journeys.

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Never Stood Up

7 1/2 years ago I was stood up…

 

 

IHOP… I’d admit, it’s not my favorite place in the world to eat but…it was a date with my dad,
what more could a girl ask for?

(“Beggars” can’t be choosers!)

I was alone in my mom’s apartment, everyone had left because they thought I had plans with Dad. I was on winter break during my junior year of college. Back in LA from Boston.

It was already 11am and he said he would be there to pick me up half an hour ago.

I kept calling and calling, all I could get was his voicemail.

Another half hour, then an hour pass…the voicemails I left started cordial…then they slowly became pretty darn rude.

I was angry. More…

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The Beginning is Not the End

As much as we may not want to admit it to ourselves, a lot of us define our futures by our past. Our ends with our beginnings…

…that ‘glass ceiling’ on what we can do and cannot do, what we can and cannot be, what we can and cannot have…

It’s extremely easy to let regret, guilt, mistakes (the feeling that you are “damaged goods“), your childhood, what your parents did or did not do for you, patterns of dysfunction…run the show.

And you can feel stuck. More…